Gym wear or not to wear

What Not To Wear: Gym Edition



A woman in step class was wearing a black lace bra. Not underneath anything, as bras are generally meant to be worn. Not even on top of something, Madonna-style (is it just me or is she coming up an awful lot on here lately??) which quite truthfully would have been preferable. Nope, it was black bike shorts, a large expanse of untoned pasty flesh and then black lace, delicate straps and underwire. In the gym.

I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt
It was as if she had rushed to the gym, forgetting she wasn’t wearing a top. Except that the aerobics room is flanked with mirrors so it’s not like it was something she could miss. Or perhaps she was on her way somewhere else and saw the gym and thought “I really ought to take a step class today. Drat, forgot my clothes! Oh well, I’ll just strip down to my skivvies and no one will be the wiser.” I really wanted to ask her what the deal was. Or offer her pasties. But that would have been rude. So instead I’m blogging about it to an Internet full of strangers. Because that’s not rude.

I’m Too Sexy For My Pants
All of this reminded me of another tragic episode of Gym Fashion that I witnessed several months ago: an older fellow in a red polo shirt, black knee socks, dress shoes and… tighty whities. Riding the recumbent bike. He definitely wasn’t demented as he was carrying on a very loud conversation with the woman next to him who, to her credit, seemed completely unaffected. He was also speaking with a thick accent that made me wonder if perhaps he was from one of those countries where everyone strips down to go hang out at the bath house together and it’s all very social and non-sexual and what’s wrong with you American prudes anyhow.

And yet. Tighty whities. At least go with boxer shorts next time.

Proper Gym Attire
I’m not one of those people that dresses up to go to the gym. No makeup, bedhead and a cotton tank top with pants (if it’s winter, like it is here nine months out of the year) or shorts (if I’m on vacation somewhere warm or if I’m running outside and need to use my white legs in lieu of reflective gear). You remember this:

So it’s not like I expect other people to be Gym Tyme Barbie or anything. But really there are a few rules one should follow.

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Posted on January 25, 2010, in Gym clothes. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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